BASEketball
BASEketball is a 1998 David Zucker comedy feature film starring South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, along with Dian Bachar, Robert Vaughn, Yasmine Bleeth, and Jenny McCarthy. The movie follows the history of the sport (created by Zucker years earlier) of the same name, from its invention by the lead characters as a game they could win against more athletic types, to its development as a nationwide league sport and a target of corporate sponsorship. Plot Prologue The film begins with historic footage of Reggie Jackson's third home run in Game 6 of the 1977 World Series. A young boy in the outfield bleachers, Joe "Coop" Cooper, catches the ball and proclaims to his best friend, Doug Remer, that "one day, I'm gonna be a big sports star." A narrator then explains how in the two decades since that historic moment, sports has become nothing more than a vehicle for corporate advertising and greedy players, and that the desire for profits has begun to outweigh the merits of sportsmanship. The narrative lampoons real sports issues such as teams that move to new cities but keep their old nicknames even though they no longer apply, corporate stadium sponsorships, free agency, and choreographed touchdown celebrations. It also explains fictitious sports issues, including how "inter-sports play" (such as mixing the rules of football and baseball) failed to improve lagging attendance at sporting events. Inventing the game The film jumps ahead to the present day, when Coop and Remer arrive uninvited at a party hosted by Brittany Kaiser, a high school classmate of theirs. After finding out that their classmates have grown-up and moved on with their lives, Coop and Remer get kicked out of the house and find themselves outside on the driveway basketball court. There, they are dared by two other party-goers to a game for $50. Remer states that they "don't have 50 bucks", Coop remarks "we don't have 20". Instead of playing "that pussy-ass two-on-two they play in the suburbs," they play a new game they picked up "in the hood". Clearly making this new game up as they go, Coop originally proposes Horse, but changes it to basketball with baseball rules: * A single is at the free-throw line * A double is at the top of the key * A triple is from behind the key * A home run is further back ("behind the meatballs" in the driveway) * You can't shoot from the same place twice * If you miss you get an out Other rules are revealed during the film. During the newcomer's first throw, Coop "psyches" him out to make him miss — a rule not explained previously. A "psyche out" can be anything said or done that makes the offense lose their concentration and miss their shot (such as Remer telling one of the other players he "fucked their sister"). Physical contact with the shooter is assumed to be disallowed, although this was never explained in the rules. However, throughout the course of the film, defenders usually keep a few feet of distance between themselves and the shooters. Although, on one occasion during a later professional BASEketball game, Remer fails to psyche out a shooter and resorts to beating the man to the ground with a board of wood. Though officials attempt to restrain him, he is not disqualified (nor is Coop, who also kicks the opponent while he is down). After Coop and Remer win the game — perhaps because they were the ones who made up the rules as the game progressed — they realize they need to "stop playing games" so they can get jobs, then they can get khakis, then they can get chicks. Having stated this plan, they then proceed to continue playing their new game (which they now call "BASEketball") in their own driveway, which eventually gathers a large crowd. During this time, their friend Kenny Scolari (cruelly nicknamed "Squeak", though he soon begins to refer to himself only by this name) joins the team and moves into their house. The National BASEketball League Six months after creation of the game, Ted Denslow shows up to propose creation of the National BASEketball League (NBL). Five years after creation of the game, the NBL is in full swing with stadiums, teams, fans, and a major championship (the Denslow Cup) with Bob Costas and Al Michaels as game announcers. During the championship, Denslow chokes on a hot dog and dies. After the game, Jenna Reed (director of the Dream Come True Foundation — a charity which helps to grant wishes to terminally ill children) introduces herself and a van full of kids to Coop and Remer as they leave the stadium to ask for autographs. The Will reading of Denslow reveals that Coop becomes owner of the Milwaukee Beers if he wins the next Denslow Cup, otherwise ownership goes to Yvette Denslow. Change of ownership At the will reading, it is revealed by Baxter Cain that Denslow created league rules that prohibit player transfers, teams moving to other cities, and corporate sponsorships (the film's opening monologue explained that all professional sports were reduced to players constantly changing teams, teams constantly changing cities, and that cross-sport play was necessary in attempt to keep fans interested). Changing of league rules requires unanimous consent by all team owners; Denslow was the only owner to resist changes that would have reduced BASEketball to that of other sports. Cain then plots with Yvette to ensure that the Beers lose the next Denslow Cup, so that Yvette gains ownership and unanimous agreement can be attained to change the rules. He initially tries to talk with Coop to get him to agree to the changes, but Coop refuses to accept any of the rule changes. Under new ownership During the next season, Coop and Remer get involved with the Dream Come True Foundation (although their involvement probably has more to do with the charity's director — the beautiful Jenna Reed — than it does with granting wishes to terminally ill children). Coop and Remer meet Joey Thomas, a young boy who needs a liver transplant. Joey reveals that his dream is to hang out with the Beers. After drinking heavily in a local bar with Remer and Joey, Coop promises Joey (who, although he is underage and needs a liver transplant, has also been drinking heavily) that he will hit three home runs in that night's game (this was in reference to Reggie Jackson's famous three-homer performance in Game 6 of the 1977 World Series, at which a young Coop was present to catch the third home run ball). In a private conversation at Cain's office, Cain tells Remer that Coop has said no to Cain's rule-change plans without talking to the other members of the Beers. Remer then goes to the Beers behind Coop's back and tells the team what he learned from Cain. After Remer and the other members of the Beers confront him, Coop agrees to split ownership with Remer and the team. The team continues, however, to agree that the rules shouldn't be changed (a possibility being that the team didn't disagree with the decision itself, more that Coop made it without their input). Cain then gets the funding cut for the Dream Come True Foundation, which leads to Remer — now part owner — to agree with Cain that the Beers needs to start a clothing line (BEERSWEAR) of which the profits will go to the foundation. This income is clearly not all going to the foundation as Remer starts wearing gold jewelry and signing movie contracts. Cain's plan all-along was to have the clothing line created in a sweatshop in Calcutta in order to get pictures to blackmail Coop and Remer to lose the Denslow Cup. Coop attempts to remedy the situation by flying to Calcutta. He then hires adult workers and gives them medical care, decent wages, and in-house child-care, and still manages to fly back in time to play in the Denslow Cup. Denslow Cup V The Beers start with an abysmal performance, failing to make one hit in six innings. Due to Coop's flight to Calcutta, he had no time to practice, and spent the majority of the game "jetlagged and shitting curry." Remer, annoyed by the team's strong loyalty to Coop, put very little effort into the game, even filing his nails on defense, instead of attempting a psyche-out. At the seventh-inning stretch, the Beers are down 16-0. Thanks to a tirade by Squeak — sick of Coop & Remer fighting — during the seventh-inning stretch show, Coop and Remer become friends again and they finally get back into the game and start scoring. In the top-half of the 9th inning, Coop uses a Cartman voice to psyche the offense out. In the bottom-half, Remer is on second and Coop is up when his custom-made BASEketball (La-Z-Boy) pops. Joey brings his custom-made BASEketball for Coop to use (Barcalounger). Coop misses but successfully completes the conversion for the win and the Denslow Cup. Special game nights Baseball games have been known to hand out free stuff to the first X number of people to show up. BASEketball continues this but hands out absurd stuff: * Milwaukee Beers vs. Dallas Felons — Dozen egg night * Milwaukee Beers vs. Miami Dealers — Free-range chicken night * Milwaukee Beers vs. Roswell Aliens — Anal probe night Cast BASEketball Teams All of the teams represent stereotypes and include references to their respective areas: ; Milwaukee Beers : Reference to the numerous local beer breweries and the Milwaukee Brewers; the fans wear beer mug "foam heads" and perform "the chug" (similar to the "tomahawk chop" used by the Florida State Seminoles and Atlanta Braves). Their mascot is a walking keg of beer (who can use his "tap" to urinate). ; Miami Dealers : The players appear to be Cuban drug dealers. Note the chainsaw wielding man on the back of their jersey reminiscent of Scarface. ; New Jersey Informants : The players are Italian-American stereotypes (one of their failed psych-outs was "Your mother's a terrible cook"); their cheerleaders all have perms and also perform some Italian hand gestures. ; San Francisco Ferries : The players wear white and pastel pink uniforms, and have the only all-male cheerleader squad. Of course, "Ferries" is meant to be a play on "fairies," an slang term used to refer to "homosexuals". ; Roswell Aliens : Reference to the location where a UFO supposedly crashed and the surrounding conspiracies; the team has an alien mascot, an arena shaped to look like a flying saucer, an "Anal Probe Night" promotion. ; L.A. Riots : Reference to the 1992 Los Angeles/Rodney King riots (and possibly Watts riots); the players appear to be angry Latinos. Their cheerleaders have the skimpiest uniforms and perform on stripper poles, a possible reference Los Angeles being the home of the adult entertainment industry. ; Dallas Felons : Huge muscle types who are probably ex-convicts (a reference to the NFL's Dallas Cowboys, a team on which numerous players had legal problems in the mid-1990s). ; San Antonio Defenders : Rednecks who chant slogans like "1,2,3, FUCK THE MEXICANS!" Their home field includes a giant recreation of the Alamo Mission. ; Detroit Lemons : Reference to the home of American auto makers that supposedly produce inferior and defective vehicles (to which "lemon" is a reference) When the league began to spin out of control, it was supposedly innundated with expansion teams. The college football's BCS system seems to be referenced in this scene. During the scene describing the extremely complex playoff system (complete with "a blind-choice round robin" and "the two-man sack race held on consecutive Sundays"), references were made to teams in Boston, Atlanta, Indianapolis, Charlotte, Oakland, Toronto, Tampa Bay, Buffalo, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, and Denver. No nicknames or mascots were given for these. Awards Trivia * David Zucker invented BASEketball years before the movie as a game that everyone could play and held games in his driveway. It became so popular a small league was created. By the fifth season championship game, the event was so big that the city shut down the street and two local Los Angeles TV stations came to report on it. * Original BASEketball players from Zucker's league appear in the movie. * Trey Parker and Matt Stone were given the main roles in BASEketball before South Park became a success, evidently as a result from their work in the movies Orgazmo and Cannibal! The Musical (both of which also feature Dian Bachar, the actor who portrayed Kenny "Squeak" Scolari). * Victoria Silvstedt makes a cameo appearance as herself, always referred to as "Victoria Silvstedt, Playmate Of The Year." Jenny McCarthy (Yvette Denslow) Was 1994's Playmate Of The Year. * Sports stars Reggie Jackson, Dale Earnhardt, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar make cameos, as does Robert Stack, parodying himself in a spoof of his program Unsolved Mysteries. Abdul-Jabbar and Stack previously worked with Zucker on Airplane!, while Jackson appeared in Zucker's The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!. Sport announcers Al Michaels of ABC and Bob Costas of NBC appear in large roles as announcers (at a time when they were rival/counterparts in real life). Sports commentators Tim McCarver, Kenny Mayne, Dan Patrick, and Pat O'Brien make cameo appearances in the film as reporters. ** Bob Costas routinely lampoons his appearance in the film on his weekly radio show, Costas on the Radio, especially when one of his co-stars is a guest. He states he was embarrassed by the studio's decision to use his "You're excited? Feel these nipples!" line in the trailer, and that people who have never seen the film will still quote that line to him in public. * Trey Parker shows off his South Park voice in the film, speaking once in the tongue of Mr. Garrison (in the naked locker room scene), once as the voice of Mr. Hankey, and once in the voice of Eric Cartman, the latter being the most obvious of the three characterizations (while trying to psych a player he refers to his weight problem by doing a Cartman impression). Several minor South Park characters are also heard when Parker uses an Australian voice during a psych-out that sounds much like his voice used for a character based on Steve Irwin in the episode "Prehistoric Ice Man" and his Canadian accent whenever he says 'buddy'. Additionally, his normal "soft" speech patterns illustrate that he also provides the voice of Randy Marsh. If you listen closely to when the fans are throwing eggs at Trey's character Coop, the distorted voice of him yelling sounds familiar to his Satan character. *The South Park episode "The Passion of the Jew" makes a reference to this movie, in which Stan Marsh, after having seen The Passion of the Christ, tells Kenny McCormick they will demand their money back: "This is just like when we got our money back for BASEketball." *The main characters play in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, which is David Zucker's birth town. *Parker and Stone invented the word "derp" on the set of the film to describe a joke that was obviously going to happen, e.g. someone running into a wall. The term was later used in South Park in episodes such as "The Succubus" and became popular usage after the airing of "The Biggest Douche in the Universe". It also spawned a minor character named Mr. Derp who was quite fond of such humor. Remer (Stone) can be heard saying it quickly at the very end of one scene in the movie (where Remer and Coop are in Brittany's mother's bedroom). *Parker and Stone have mentioned in an interviewParker and Stone interview that the two most unpleasant and annoying things ever said to them are [[Criticism of Family Guy#Family Guy vs. South Park|being compared to Family Guy]] and being recognized only as "those guys from BASEketball." *Reel Big Fish, who covered "Take On Me" on the soundtrack and played "Beer" both in the film and on the soundtrack, released a video clip to "Take On Me" featuring the band playing a game of BASEketball interlaced with clips from the film. It is included on the movie's DVD release. *This is Robert Vaughn's 100th film. *The character of Ted Denslow is loosely based on both sports franchise owners Jack Kent Cooke and Ted Turner, while Baxter Caine is based upon Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. *Prior to the release of Team America: World Police, Trey Parker and Matt Stone participated in a video interview for CRAPtv in which they stated they would like to do an "actor's cut" of BASEketball for DVD, as they felt some of their best jokes had been cut out. However, nothing has been announced officially as of March 2007. *Jenny McCarthy, a big fan of David Zucker's film Airplane!, has stated that between takes she would keep talking to him about Airplane! She joked that he probably considered firing her. *The original poster for the movie featured Parker and Stone holding a pair of BASEketballs in front of each of their crotches, as to represent large testicles. This caused some controversy during the film's theatrical release (New York City disallowed the poster from appearing on bus stops), and the DVD cover features a different picture of Stone (Parker's photo remains, as it was less suggestive) with McCarthy between them. See also *BASEketball Soundtrack *Beersketball References External links * The Unofficial Official Site * * * * Things to learn from Baseketball * Baseketball Summary * BASEketball cast and script Category:1998 films Category:Sports comedy films Category:Fictional ball games Category:Basketball films Category:Universal Pictures films de:Die Sportskanonen es:BASEketball fr:BASEketball ru:БЕЙСкетбол